Photography: from hobby to disaster

My brain is split in half. Sometimes the practical part is dominant, sometimes the creative one. I simply cannot choose one over the other. I am balanced, I understand thing that do not make sense for a creative person, but I also have a hunger to expand my creative side. When I was a kid, I used to draw. I loved to draw new dress styles. Of course, my parents took this as only a hobby and never encouraged my creative side. Drawing was left behind, giving way to more “normal things” like studying languages.

Then life took me even further apart from creation. But, ever since I got a mobile phone with a camera, I snapped photos like crazy. Good, bad, where mine and mine along. My creative side was screaming to be unleashed. So I decided to take my passion to the next level and start leaning all there is about photography. I enrolled to an online course and entered a few photography groups on Facebook. And all hell broke loose!

Before it was just me and my camera. Now, there are all kind of technical details to be taken into consideration. If before I was taking a photo on the fly and just according to my gut, now I second guess everything I do. Is that ISO good? Does that aperture match my shutter speed? And so on. There is a lot of math involved in all these settings and math is not one of my strong points. Actually, is it my weakest point. Thus, the entire joy for photography is gone.

And things got even worse. By entering those photographer groups on Facebook, I started thinking that all my photos are bad. Everyone there is posting wonderful photos with many cool effects. Lightroom and Photoshop are new for me. I can do basic stuff and even blurring the background poses difficulty for me right now. Maybe I will get better with practice, but I am totally down. I keep thinking about ways to do things better.

And then I discovered all the accessories I need: different lenses, filters, adapters, cards, batteries, covers, lights and so on. My husband is going crazy with all my demands to buy equipment which is not cheap. And come to think that I was so happy in my ignorance. Everybody says that is not the equipment that matters but the photographer. The same people are always showing off their fancy, new, expensive equipment.

Also, there is a lot of composition composition settings to be taken into account. If something looks good, I snap a photo. Not much thinking involved. If I start thinking too much my practical side takes control and I second guess everything. And all the pleasure si gone. But I work towards recovery!

Meanwhile check my porfolio on 500px.com: https://alinachiteala.500px.com/

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